


David Karofsky, Why Won't You Boff Me?

by wowbright



Series: Blainofsky Fic (Season 6 based) [4]
Category: Bree Sharp, David Duchovny Why Don't You Love Me?, Glee
Genre: Crack, M/M, Song Lyrics, Song Parody, things that Blaine Anderson sings at karaoke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 12:47:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7640797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wowbright/pseuds/wowbright
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>About a bazillion years ago, sometime during season six, I made up  this little story in my head about how Blaine and Dave got together. They'd been meeting up at Scandals for a while, and Blaine started to notice that each time they met, he felt less inclined to complain about Kurt and more inclined to unlock the mysteries of David Karofsky. Why was Dave no longer a douchebag? Why did he have such lovely, well-groomed eyebrows? How would those small, pink lips feel around Blaine's ...?</p><p>Everything came to a head on Scandal's monthly karaoke night, when Blaine got slightly tipsy and decided to make his feelings known through song. He told the DJ to play the music for Bree Sharp's "David Duchovny, Why Don't You Love Me?", but personalized the lyrics.</p><p>This is what he sang.</p><p>Thanks to likeasouffle and marauder-in-warblerland for help with the scansion!</p>
            </blockquote>





	David Karofsky, Why Won't You Boff Me?

**Author's Note:**

> I’m really sad that I couldn’t figure out a way to work Trotsky into this.
> 
> Also, this works much better if you sing it.

It’s Friday night, I am curled up in my bed.  
I am alone. I wish I was with him instead.  
When he wears those flannel shirts  
I get so hard it starts to hurt.  
I am his number one fan  
Want to be his favorite Asian man!

And I can’t wait anymore for  
him to get off with me.  
I've got it bad for  
David Karofsky.  
David Karofsky, why won’t you rock me?  
Why won’t you rock me?

My friends all tell me, “Dude, you should just take it slow.”  
But deep within his thighs, I see me wrapped up like a bow.  
Watching his eyes for a sign,  
his beefy prize is on my mind.  
I’m waiting for the day  
when our lucky cocks align!

(Yes, I want) David Karofsky,  
Stroking me off please.  
It’s so wrong that it’s right, turn this friendship to boffing.  
(I need ) David Karofsky, hovering atop me,  
Ohio's Yogi, big burly hottie –

David Karofsky, why won't you boff me?  
Why won't you boff me? Why won't you boff me?

So brawny, so tough,  
I need him in the buff. I want him up in my stuff  
‘cause the cool it just flows from his ten little toes  
right up to his big and Polish nose  
that I want up in my ass.  
Now you may say that is crass, but it’s okay ‘cause I waxed.

(Ooooh….)

Lube in my pocket,  
I am ready for tonight.  
Want to put an end to  
my daydream days and begin my sleepless nights.

Swooning like a lovelorn lass,  
I'm wishing he would tap my ass  
and just to feel the shaft  
of the boy, the bear, the balls of brass!

And I would say, David Karofsky, please put your cock in me.  
Just don and doff me. You could even be rough with me.  
David Karofsky, don’t be such a cocktease.  
Why won't you boff me? Why won't you boff me?

David Karofsky, I want you to rock me  
to kiss and defrock me, debrief and debauch me.  
David Karofsky, I know you could top me.  
I’m cut and I’m cuddly. I’m gonna make you fuck me!

And David Karofsky, why won't you boff me?  
Why won't you boff me? Why won't you boff me?

(Yeah …)

**Author's Note:**

> Dave was totally embarrassed, but also thrilled. Much making out commenced. Other things, too. But that's another story.
> 
> Here's the tumblr link if you want to reblog: <http://wowbright.tumblr.com/post/148265470805/fic-david-karofsky-why-wont-you-boff-me>


End file.
